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10 Lesson's We've Learned in 2 Years of Marriage

Colten + I are celebrating two years of marriage today and it's crazy to think about all the things we've already learned together. Though we don't claim to be marriage experts, there have been lessons we've learned (usually through failure to do them) about married life. 

So whether you're newly engaged, about to tie the knot, or have been husband and wife for years, here's a little "Warren Wisdom" about the 10 lessons we've learned in our two  years of marriage. 

1. Serve your spouse everyday
People always told me that when you get married, you can no longer be selfish. I would agree that this is true in part, but in reality you can still be married and a total selfish my-way-or-the-highway queen bee. I think we should change it to "when you get married, choose not to be selfish". One of the best ways to do this is to serve your spouse everyday. We have this written on our mirror (along with #2) and it reminds me to take a couple minutes to do something to help/serve Colten. Some days its something simple like putting away his laundry, or another day its cleaning his car so he doesn't have to do it on the weekend. 

2. Kiss your spouse everyday

This one is also on our mirror + a reminder we need each day. *GASP* I never thought this would happen, but once you're married and busy (read: graduating college, first year of teaching, trying to be a badA wife) sometimes its 9pm and you realize you haven't smooched your boy at all. Maybe you and your husband are on top of things, but if not, realize that life happens and it's okay if you need a lil reminder. 

3. Talk about responsibilities at the beginning of your marriage

This is something we DIDN'T do and wished we would have. Finally, about a year in, we sat down and listed the different household chores + responsibilities + who would do them. This helped out so much and helped both of us know what we needed to do to contribute.

4. There will be some adjusting + learning

You think you know a person... and then you marry them! 😜Before you know it, your spouse will do something that is gross, weird, or downright alien. Want to know what our first argument was about? Colten folded his shirts differently than I did, and I was sure he was the weirdo. There was no way I was going to fold the laundry the way he wanted me to.Two years later, I fold my laundry the way I like, and his the way he likes. Also on the list of adjustments: which side of the bed they prefer, how they like to spend their free time, what brand of shampoo they have to have, etc.

5. Go to THEM with your problems

Not gonna lie, when I've got 99 problems I usually go straight to M-O-M. However, when you get married it's important to go to your spouse when you have problems or things you need to talk about. Trust them with your feelings + frustrations. See more on #10

6. Have a weekly date night

THIS IS MY FAVORITE ONE. Nothing gets me through the week like a good ol' date night with the hubs. We started out by just doing dinner (usually with our coupons in tow, because #poormarriedcollegekids), but lately we've been trying to do an activity too. Date nights can be super chill + inexpensive. Grab a pizza, go to the park, and throw a frisbee. Our favorite: cheap mexican food + drives up the canyon. It's so important to go do something special each week together!

7. Unplug + spend time together

Sometimes I catch us both sitting next to each other, both silently scrolling. With everything being all about social media + technology, it's easy to forget to unplug + spend time together. We have been working on being present with each other + it's reminded us how important it is to give time to the people around you, not the ones on your screen.

8. Make decisions together

This one has honestly been tough for me. I'm such an independent girl + feel completely confident making my own decisions. However, marriage is a partnership, and major decisions should be made between both spouses. We talk together before things like major spending, life decisions, or career moves.

9. Do what they want to do sometimes

Another toughy for me. If you've been reading long, you've heard me talk about how my husband + I are complete opposites in almost every aspect. Which means a lot of things I think are fun, he doesn't... and vice versa. However, we think it's important to be okay with things you don't like. Example: Colt loves going shooting + watching avengers movies. So, we go shooting + watch avengers movies. I like going on drives + swimming. So, we go on drives + go swimming.

10. Be each other's person

This one develops over time, especially when you make an effort to rely on each other during trials, changes, etc. But when you work to be each other's person - come sunshine, ice storm, or monsoon season, you'll find that your spouse is not only the love of your life, but also your bff, bachelor watching buddy, venting go-to, biggest cheerleader, and partner. 

So there you have it! Here's to 2 more years (plus way more after that) of marriage! 
Thanks for reading friends! 
Love P

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